|Posted by Robert Bibeau on October 4, 2010 at 2:24 AM|
WHERE HAS THE HEALING JOURNEY BEEN???
Short answer: Buying a house.
Long answer: Well, you deserve better than trite contrivances such as long and short, so it's lucky I have an entire blog I can post an explanation in.
The Healing Journey was conceived as a method to help me demonstrate how Kung Fu has literally given me my life back. It was intended to track those intangible aspects of recovery that in some ways simply can't be measured other than to simply say "I feel better."
I wouldn't even be able to identify those intangible issues were it not for Kung Fu though. I wouldn't be able to know that today I feel better than the day I did before, at least not the way I know it now. I wouldn't be able to clearly delineate between the anger I felt in my heart or the pain I felt in my body.
Kung Fu, has brought me a sense of calm. Of course, at this point I am learning some pretty impressive things and Kung Fu has brought me an ability to do all sorts of really impressive things that I couldn't do before I got injured. But despite the impressive acrobatic agility, bone crushing power, and uncanny speed (which seriously isn't that impressive when seen against everyone else at my school - side note, its awesome being the guy at the bottom EVERYONE is your teacher!) I truly feel that the greatest thing my Kung Fu has brought me is calm. I have thought to myself many times, "If I could do nothing but Kung Fu all day, I would do nothing but Kung Fu all day."
I hear of people going on retreats for all manner of things. Marriage retreats, diet retreats, professional development retreats, job hunting retreats, educational retreats, family retreats, weight loss retreats... that list goes on and on. The one retreat I would love to go to, one where you do nothing but Kung Fu, eat well, sleep well, get up early and do more Kung Fu. Imagine how centered you could be at the end of two weeks like that.
Sadly that retreat at some picturesque alpine forest, lakeside camp ground is ages away. Fortunately, when I am actually able to get up, I have about two hours every morning that can be just as fulfilling. It will shortly become more fulfilling as Tiff and I are buying a wonderful house, with plenty of room in the backyard for me to practice. Also while there isn't a lake, there is a pool... So I'll take what I can get I guess.
The home buying experience has been an occasional obstacle towards being able to focus on the healing journey. Anyone who has ever bought a home before can tell you that it is a major hassle. While I don't feel it is anywhere close to being a "stressful" experience, it is stress inducing. That may be a hard distinction, but just understand it as this: All of the "stressful" problems that have arisen are the kinds of things that make me want to pull my hair out while forcefully feeding a home appraiser an escrow contract, but no one is getting shot at. Some therapists might say that I have lost an ability to feel or express a normal range of emotions. In many respects I think I just recognize that some of the "normal" things people get worked up over, are frivolous.
That being said, another reason the Healing Journey has been away for awhile is that I have high points and I have low points. I have said many times that my ability to function is like a delicate house of cards. Build it well enough, and it can be unbelievable strong. Build it right and every card is supported by the whole and the whole depends on every one card. But if one of those cards should slip out of place, or if the house isn't symmetrical, the slightest disturbance will come crashing down.
This particular "crash" wasn't nearly as severe as some I've had in the past. I was able to still hold it together at work, I was able to get to class, I was able to keep my home life intact. I was even able, on occasion to get in a workout in the morning and I was able to get many of my mid-day workouts as well. Two things I wasn't able to get right, the ability to get up and stay up in the mornings and the ability to get to bed early enough to hit the blog.
I have made a few changes that ought to correct that. I have a few big plans coming up for the Healing Journey and as a teaser here's one of the ideas: Pictures and video's detailing specifically what some of the exercises are, this way you can get an idea of what it is to do 100 repetitions of Poon Kiu, Sau, Kwa, Chop, or 100 repetitions of Double Block.