The Healing Journey Project

Renewal and Transformation Through Kung Fu

Progress Journal

Tests and Triumphs

Posted by Robert Bibeau on August 1, 2011 at 1:12 AM

In many respects this has been a banner week for me.  Throughout the week I continued to search for inspiration as to what to write about and all week long I seemed to come up empty handed.  "I need something poignant" I kept thinking to myself and I was frustrated that as each day passed I had yet to have poignant revelations.  So today, while sweating like crazy doing of all things yardwork, I was thinking hard about what I would write about and basically ended up recapping the whole week in the process.

Monday afternoon I pulled the clamps of off a wooden dummy I building for my school, wondering how the glue up process would hold:  It held.  Tuesday morning I went in for my 5:00 AM private lesson with my Sifu, later that afternoon I tested for my Black Fringe for my Orange Sash:  Not only did I nearly pass out from the intensity of the test, but I also managed to pass.  Wednesday, I managed to get several things done at work that had been looming over my head for awhile as well as complete a task that had been assigned on Monday and given only a 72 hour deadline.  Thursday I got some more work done on the wooden dummy and spent a wonderful evening with my family mostly spent cleaning the house as we had family coning in the next day, but it was good even so.  Friday I hosted family from out of town, Saturday after class, I put the finishing touches on the body of the wooden dummy and got the majority of work on the arms done, and enjoyed an amazing dinner of sushi with my family having gone for ice cream afterwards.  Today, I finished a brake job on my truck, cleaned up the colossal mess I have made of the garage, ripped weeds out from around my rose bushes, cut down 5 wheelbarrow loads of branches from some of my trees, and raked my entire property and mulched most of what I raked.  Still having fit time in for a swim in my pool with my family, a dinner of grilled chicken kabobs, watched a movie with my son and read to him from one of his favorite books before bed.  So like I said a banner week.

When viewed through that lens it is now interesting to me that I at all was searching for anything to write about.  My test was one of the more difficult that I have endured thus far in my training.  By far the most difficult and also most enjoyable was my Orange Sash test wich occured in the rain.  This test however was in the heat which made for a much less enjoyable atmosphere.  I will say however that getting an opportunity to be tested in harsh conditions like that is very fortuitous as it establishes a certain confidence that if I can do it under those extremely difficult times, I'll be able to use it when I most need it.

Now one thing I think is important to identify is that over the past several months I have been trying to balance, family, Kung Fu and work with the tasks around the house, vehicle maintainence, budgeting, and carpentry.  In this effort to balance these things, I have been trying to set conditions that will make me, my house, and my family more efficient in each of these regards so that we can spend more of our family time in a clean, relaxed and quality manner.  This effort is the triumph that I eluded to in tonights title.  I have quite literally been trying to get to that yard work for MONTHS and the development of the wooden dummy I am building and so near completion of is also I project that I have been working on for MONTHS, getting my garage into a clean enough state so as to be able to do this type of carpentry is something I have been working on for MONTHS, setting conditions so that I can get the majority of household chores done in a single evening rather than an entire weekend is something I have been working on for MONTHS.  The fact that all of these things culminated in the same week is pretty damned impressive to me.  Whats more is that while I feel tired right now and definitely ready for a good nights rest, I dont feel overwhelmed.  I don't feel stressed out and I don't feel like I have unfinished business.  I feel excited about the coming week, both for my professional work and the work I am doing for myself and my family.  I feel excited about the wooden dummy I am working on, I feel excited about my training this coming week but mostly I am excited because there is a recognition that being able to do the things you want to do is based on how hard you work at the things that hold you back from doing them.  A further and vastly more comforting revelation in this regard is that doing those "hold back" things is a sort of a dynamo, the faster you get it spinning, the less energy it takes to keep it spinning and thus the more time you can spend focusing on what you enjoy.  I had this revelation while wearing blisters into my hands raking my yard and relishing every second of it.  Mostly because associated with a feeling of accomplishment is the unadulterated feeling of personal triumph.

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